i usually feel pretty good about where i am. i have the most wonderful niece and nephews, although they do drive me crazy and make things tougher than you would ever imagine. my brothers are amazing, and andrew has proven all my previous thoughts about him wrong. he has changed so much, and honestly i never thought that was possible. austin will be a great man one day HAHA that reminds me of reba: "maybe i'll be a goodman one day CAUSE RIGHT NOW I'M SCUM!" taylor.......is taylor. i don't think she will ever change, especially since she doesn't see anything wrong with how she acts. that girl is just so much like my mom and her dad which isn't a nice combination. jenn has more trust issues than she is willing to admit. she won't let anyone in and when they do something to upset her, she is ready to write them off and kick them out of her life.
but with all their faults and issues, i still love them all a whole lot. they are all i have and i am reminded of that almost daily.
i feel okay about my place in life until i compare myself to other people my age. that is when my perception becomes screwed up and i begin to question myself. i just feel so.... unsure. about everything. and i'm scared. of making mistakes. and what a chest x-ray will reveal. and if it may be cancer. i should find out on friday but i'm scared. i want to just go off into the world and prove myself. i want to get an education that won't require debt to accumulate. i want to be someone that is remembered because i feel so forgettable. all the time. i just want my life to be everything i've ever dreamed of.
and as of right now, it needs improving. maybe i should go to this college in chicago, if i can get oncampus living. and have money saved for warmer clothes.
and if i can get a job there.
a lot of "if"s. not good.
130 days til the Fray :)
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Hello, I've just noticed your blog and I wanted to tell you how jealous I am, because you have a ticket for The Fray's concert. I hope you'll have fun and make a billions of pictures which you can share with the unsatisfied fans (like me. And I'm not unsatisfied because I don't love them, it's just because it won't be tomorrow when I'll see them live. Not even the day after tomorrow. Whatever.)
Soooo, I'd ask something from you. Could you check my The Fray fansite, I'd be really thankful for it ^-^
It's ungodlyhour.gportal.hu
Thanks and have a nice day ^-^
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