that's enough for now.

I feel so much more... relieved I guess is the word. now that I've spoken with Jenn. my mind was running wild with ideas and interpretations and now I feel as if I am on more steady ground. it felt so shaky before. having an outsider's perspection rather than my own helps. hahahah Jenn doesn't even remember telling him that to his face. I am going to tell Andrew how I truly feel about him thinking about the army again. that won't solve anything and I don't want him to go. its dangerous and he has Julian to think about.
I am hopeful that this weekend he will come over and bring his friend again. I guess I just like torture haha. butttt I want to try again and just be myself. not get nervous or let others put thoughts in my head. including him. he is quite the charmer and I have a feeling he knows it too..