so I was thinking today when I was sorting through clothes to wash a load of kids clothes before heading to the park with the 3 munchkins and I don't know how I am going to live without seeing them everyday. Having them apart of my life everyday is wonderful and crazy and irritating but I am going to miss them so much. it makes me sad and cry and ache inside thinking about it. but i also have this feeling that I need to go off and do my own thing because if I don't, I will regret it. I feel it strongly and that is why I will ultimately leave and do my own thing. because it feels like the right thing although it will hurt so badly. I don't want them to grow up and learn new things without being there. they feel like my own and how am I going to do this? I don't want to talk to Jenn about it because she will jump on my uncertainty and pressure me into staying close. but Chicago just sounds right. and this school seems perfect so I think I will. its a part of growing up right? plus I do want my own life and to become a successful writer and sacrifies are a key to the puzzle.
sacrificing is a part of life. so this next year I am going to mentally and emotionally prepare myself for the departure that is evitable. I am going to enjoy as much time with them as possible.
like today. the park was fun :)
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