now we're here and it turns to chaos

I feel like when you have been swimming for hours, having the time of your life and then you become tired. Exhaustion kicks in, but instead of getting out of the water, you stay in it. You fight to keep your head above water in the deep end, enjoying the sensation of the liquid engulfing your body, but part of you wanting to get out and bask in the warm sun at the same time.
every time, every single time, i think that things slow down and i may have some down time, i am proven wrong and sadly have to kick and swim harder to keep my head just barely above water, to keep myself from drowning. drowning in reading, stress, work, to keep myself up and functioning, to be successful. this is so tiring and i really want out of this pool, but the sun has yet to come.