in all my spite, I'll turn it off.

I'm at this point where I don't know what exactly I feel anymore. I want to finish school but then I think what is the fucking point? I'm only 17, I have plenty of time to complete school and get whatever career I choose started. the possibility of us moving to some place that I actually want to be has me thinking all these thoughts that are different from ones that I was having just two weeks ago. I'm seriously debating if I will attend a school out there right away. it wouldn't hurt if I take off a semester or even a whole year because I have the advantage of starting early. it's just difficult for me to decide because once I speak of my intentions, I will start getting these looks. and lectures. "finish-school-now-because-it-is-good-and-an-investment-and-the-right-thing" lectures. and then those looks and lectures will make me second guess myself, my decisions. while those lectures may be true, I'm not sure that's I want that at this moment. what I really want is to just travel and find new places, new people, new treasures and create new moments. yesterday when we were in ontario it felt so nice. the place had charm and history and the buildings were unique and completely different than barstow. I liked it a lot. I just need something different and I'm feeling as if I am losing my motivation for this semester when it is only going to get busier and more stressful.