blahhhhh

I initially believed that today was going to go a lot differently than it did. I believe that Richard simply said that on the phone to be a jackass, since he is an expert in that field. He said something similar to me previously and like a moron I believed him. I wish I could tell if he was lying to me, it would save me a lot of second-guessing. Here I thought today was going to be a huge step forward. Instead we are stuck in the same place. I'm beginning to believe what I told Taylor; I really don't see us working out. There is always a problem with you, you always seem to have drama and crazy events circling you like a hawk that is ready to attack at any given moment. Why would I want something like that? If you are this much work just as a friend then how would I survive if we became more? I need to listen to my head as much as I need to follow my heart.

on another note, you and I are becoming close. It doesn't take half a shift for you to speak to me. and hey, you even start conversations with me that don't revolve around work and Richard. one of these days I am going to talk to you about your stupid assumptions by the way. Before I leave, I have every intention of asking you.