I can't tell you what it really is. I can only tell you what it feels like

I've never been in a situation like this. a situation that causes me happiness and pain all wrapped in one. I never realized that loving someone can make you feel so whole and content. I'm running through all of our conversations and interactions and ..I think I have fallen for you even more, if that is possible? Reading about the last few months opened my eyes to the fact that I was doomed from the start. You drew me in and somehow I fell for you hard. What is even more unbelieveable to me is that you fell for me. I asked you once, how I made you love me and your only response was that you liked me for awhile.
My only regret is that things had moved along quicker and that I didn't waste so much time feeling insecure and afraid to speak up. I can't say that I regret anything else. Meeting you has changed me in so many ways. I miss just sitting around watching The Big Bang Theory with you. I miss driving anywhere. I miss working with you, watching you bust your ass and dance like a fool. I miss your carefree banter with Malinda and Amber and how you and Max would "skip Amy." I miss our games of Phase 10. I miss sneaking around. I miss your jokes. I miss hearing you say "It all works out." I miss your arms holding me. I miss your laugh. I miss the way you smelled because you always smelled so amazing. I miss smelling like you after we cuddled or hugged. I miss your smile and how it always caused me to smile right back involuntarily. But most of all I miss talking to you because it was while talking to you that I fell in love with you. and I will always love you.