between my lingering feelings for Eric, the possibility of Bobby liking me and Richard's behavior and comments, I am in deep shit. I don't know what exactly I feel anymore. Being around Eric is easy and fun; Bobby is so intense and interesting, he makes me eager to get to know him; and Richard is.... Richard. He says things that hang out in my head for a long time and mess with my thought process. "I lied when I said you were too young for me" "just like every other woman in my life" "I miss making you laugh when working nights with Teresa" "Wake up call!.. Good morning" "You deserve better, Amy" "If you weren't so young, I'd be ALL OVER YOU!!" I'm thinking through all of those nights we spent together and.. it is not helping my conflicting thoughts and emotions. I feel like there is this barrier, something I shouldn't cross and I know if given the chance, you would easily cross it without hesitation or a second thought. That makes me the adult the situation... but dammit sometimes I just want to give in. Why can't I be the immature one here? if you would simply stop being the way you are to me, this could go away. I would make it go away. but when I talk to you, I am more honest with you than practically anyone else. and when I am honest with you, you lean back and get this small little smile on your face, like what I am saying makes you so happy. I can ignore the other comments, the sexual innuendos and the rumors. but it is that look and the feeling like you really see me and like me for me that I cannot ignore. Those moments are the ones that cause me to question everything and wish for the impossible. So please.. just stop. I can't say this to your face because you read me easily and you would call me out on my feelings and I don't know what would happen then. Something that I might regret... something that would most certainly change everything.