when I enter that house I feel overwhelmed with thoughts of you. memories of you. I'm instantly weighed down with this sadness that has my heart in its death grip, refusing to let go. I lost it tonight. I sat across from the door and found myself anticipating you walking thru that very door. forcing myself to realize that you wouldn't appear crushed me all over again. I tried to get control of my face and my tears in the bathroom only to find your cologne. and not just ANY cologne but that special cologne. that cologne that smells amazing and the same cologne you wore that night we had our first kiss. I will never forget that smell because I remember that night vividly and I remember that I buried my face in your neck many times. so like the sick person that I am, I took the bottle so I can wallow in my pain by holding onto something else of yours. I need it so badly, to simply have something real that I can touch that is a reminder of you.
I hate that I wasted so much of the time I could have spent with you. I relive my memories and am sadly reminded that its all I have. memories. you would think time would lessen the pain and the hurt would slowly dwindle away. it feels like its only intensified over the last six months.
this link explains it all.
http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljjjabqMMF1qd1cnoo1_500.jpg
they did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment